Rejection & Security

My blog is intended to be a homeschool blog, really a way to document things in our day to day so this topic is out of left field. I do think it's vital so please indulge me if you will.

As a Christian I know that I need Jesus because I'll never be perfect enough for Heaven. I need Jesus to trade my sins for His righteousness. I am aware of my shortcomings & if you are around me for any amount of time you too will be aware of my shortcomings. Knowing how faulty we are we know to look to Jesus for His perfect righteousness.

We were also made to desire acceptance because there is this giant Jesus sized whole in our hearts & only He can fill that void we feel. We go through life seeking His acceptance mostly never realize it we already have it, Christians struggle with this. We have come up in an era where secular humanism is all we hear even from pulpits & "christian books". We are told that we must find our value & worth in what we feel we are. Don't like what you are? Change it. Go back to school, study a new area of field, get a new career, marry a new person, abandon your family to go on an excursion that will make you feel fulfilled or go on a missions trip (sans family). After all you have to make yourself the priority of your life. But is that biblical? Did a Jesus that commanded us to deny ourselves & fallow him really have those things in mind when He was telling us to pick up our cross & follow Him? I'm sure you know the answer.

The reality though is that we often get caught up in the "what do they/I think of me" game. Instead of "what has Christ called me to" reality.  When we try to measure our self worth on the things we have accomplished, are accomplishing or the approval of others we are left VOID. There will always be a new fad & our old accomplishments will soon wilt. The fads will change & those who once approved of us will have moved on to a new fad which we no longer will fit into. In order to "fit in" again we'll have to adapt.

Why then, should we base our self worth on what others thinks of us, what we think they think of us or even what we think of us? Our self worth should be as believers/Christians, found in Christ. What He thinks of us & feels for us.

I never fit in as a kid, as an adult I still don't fit in...I'm uniquely made. I'm not made on an assembly line. My life is not going to look like all the other 31 year old Argentine women who have married 32 year old Puerto Rican men. My life wont look like the life of other homeschoolers, cloth diaperers (partially), mom of 5/6 children, mom who lost a child to trisomy 13, mom who is pregnant, mom who uses essential oils in conjunction with traditional medicines, mom who gets lots of migraines, mom who nurses, mom with hyperemesis gravidarum, mom who hasn't had all her kids fully or at all vaccinated, mom who loves to bake, mom who hates to do dishes, mom who has low blood sugar, mom who adores her hubby, mom with nerve damage, mom who enjoys her alone time when her kids are in bed sleeping & doesn't really enjoy "girls night out", mom who wishes she had any artistic or musical talent, etc...Point blank, I'm different. My differences pulled me away from people at one point but now they have helped me to mature & have helped me to love others.

It wasn't until I was secure in the difference that Christ has allowed in me that I became laid back in the differences God allowed in others. When I was insecure in myself & sought validation & acceptance I needed everyone to be just like me. Essentially I invalidated & didn't accept others because of my own insecurities. If a mom didn't nurse her kids, didn't homeschool her kids, didn't cloth diaper, gave her kids soda, etc... she wasn't in my feeble mind a "good mother". God through His mercies & wisdom matured me in these areas & now if a mom didn't or doesn't nurse, cloth diaper, homeschool or if she does allow coke/pepsi to her child, if her kids are all fully vaccinated, if her kids are in public school, etc... I no longer measure their worth as a person & mother by her choices. She's no worst a mother than say I am in spite of our differences. Our differences are just that, differences.

When I sought my validation from Christ I saw that we are just made different in the image of God. He released me from the bondage of needing to be "accepted" & from the sin of hurting others through my own insecurities. When I realized this, I was not just free to be myself with out always needing to apologize for myself i.e: "We homeschool but we love teachers, most of our closest friends are teachers" (true story). I can now say "yeah, we homeschool" & move on with out adding what curriculum I use, why I use it, why my kids are homeschooled, why we don't want to put them in public schools, why we love teachers in general but still don't feel called to put our kids in school, etc...Like wise with every other parental choice we had made. Now I just am comfortable with me, with my family & the choices that my husband & I made for us through Christ & through prayer. I also was free to truly love my sisters, with all their differences. I was free not to push my baggage on to their shoulders & undervalue them in order to bring myself up.

I see the pain in so many of my sisters in Christ, the constant need to explain themselves or to get defensive, mean spirited, nasty even when a subject that they are insecure (although they fake security) in comes up. If she public schools she screams at you about how her kids are called to be "salt & light" & if she didn't nurse her kids she tells you that she tried everything she could & her "breast were just broken", if she vaccinated & some how also ended up with a child with a condition she explains to you how she doesn't blame the vaccines & how she never even questions it, even though it seems she does since she brought it up. To be clear, I am not anti vaccines per say, I know lots of moms who have children on the spectrum & never had their kids vaccinated, I personally don't blame vaccines for autism nor do I find anything "wrong" with autistic children. My unvaccinated kids are not unvaccinated because I fear autism. I am clearing that up to avoid a vaccine/autism debate. All I am saying is that once you are truly secure in your choices and life events you don't feel compelled to plead your case to others or to invalidate them because of their life events or life choices. You recognize that you're just different.

Yes people can be hostile, nasty & even accusatory but it doesn't mean you have to meet them at their level. You realize this when God gives you a peace in the person He is transforming you into by the renewing of your mind. I've been accused of not trusting my children because I don't send them to public schools. To be transparent, it's true, I don't trust my kids at all, they are 8,6,4&2 & I personally don't think it wise to trust them at this junction of their young lives. I wasn't though going to sit there & have this conversation with a person who had made up their mind about me, my motives, my person merely because she had in the past been made to feel like less of a person, a mother, a woman for not homeschooling her own. I'm also not saying that other moms who have children the ages of my own shouldn't trust their kids. Kudos to those moms. I wasn't even humiliated when she shouted at me, jumping up & down & shaking her finger in my direction even though it was done in the company of other women. On the contrary I felt sorry for her. I felt so much pain for the amount of hurt she had received at the hands of another self conscious, unhappy, insecure, rejected woman(en). My heart hurt for her & for the woman(en) who made her feel that way. I recognized her tantrum. I am sure I had had the same one at some point. I felt for her & for all the other women who go about life acting self assured & self reliant but who fall to pieces if what they have placed their self worth on has been, in their minds, called into question, even if it hasn't at all been mentioned.

Please pray for these sisters & the next time one attacks you remember she hasn't yet found her value in Christ alone. Even if she seems like the most assured woman in the room, if she's cutting anyone else up, she isn't assured at all.

What does God think about you?

• For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope" [Jeremiah 29:11]
• Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works which You have done; and Your thoughts toward us cannot be recounted to You in order; if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. [Psalms 40:5]
• Because of God's great love for us, we are adopted into His family [1 John 3:1], and made joint heirs with Christ [Romans 8:17]
• We are made to sit in heavenly places with Christ [Ephesians 2:6]
• We are blessed with all spiritual blessings in Christ [Ephesians 1:3]
• We are the righteousness of Christ through faith, thus being made right before God [Romans 3:22]
• Our sins have been removed from us as far as the east is from the west [Psalms 103:12], and God Himself has chosen not to remember our failures [Hebrews 8:12]
• We are loved with the same love that the Father has for Jesus Himself! [John 17:23]

How does Rejection look like in our life?

Rebellion i.e "I know that's what scripture says, but clearly that doesn't apply to me".

Fabricated personalities (being somebody you aren't, in order to be accepted).

The tendency to reject others, so that you aren't the first one to be rejected.

A tendency to always wonder if a person rejects or accepts you.

The need to fit in or be accepted by others and be a part of everything. Including stopping in the middle of one conversation to jump into another conversation you weren't a part of leaving the people who were initially talking to you feeling rejected themselves.

Self-pity where a person feels bad for themselves being all alone.

Inability to be corrected or receive constructive criticism after all you feel you're always right.

Rejection creates an environment where you are starved for love, attention (lime light always has to be centered on you) or "just don't fit in".

A tendency to blame God, "Why did He give me this big nose? Why did God allow me to be so hurt my others?".

A sense of pride that says, "How dare they reject me!".

Opinionated personality and the need to be right about things i.e "there is only one way to educate your kids, one way to raise them, one way to lead your marriage, etc...everyone else is wrong".

Feelings of worthlessness, insecurity, or hopelessness.

Seeking a parent's approval being in your adulthood trying to please them, is a sign that your basing your identity upon what they think of you.

Envy, jealousy, and even hate can be rooted in rejection.

Paranoid "No one likes me & no one wants to be my friend". Even though you're the one pushing everyone away.

Fear of confrontation (because your identity is based upon what they think of you).

Check your own hearts & if these ugly manifestations of rejection come up remember that your worth is in Christ alone. Ask God to help you change & make a conscious effort to be more Christ centered & not so self centered. If you see them rise up in others, remember to have a soft heart towards them & to pray for their walk & their eyes to be open to the general pain that their baggage is causing others.

In Christ, Your Sister in the Faith. 

Our Official First Day & First Week of School Has Now Come & Gone.

We chose Labor Day as our official back to school day mainly bacause daddy had the day off and we wanted him to be part of the festivities. However technically we've actually done 40days of school since June 8th, 2014. We were moving slowly but now that the official school year has started in our home we'll be schooling daily. At least until Noevemeber when we go on break until February 2015. Our sixth baby is due on Thanks Giving (November 27th) and I want a school break before the baby is born & soon after she's born. 

First, I made pancakes while the kids made themselves their own placemats, I later laminated their placemats. 

Here's what they woke up to. I mixed all the dry pancake ingredients the night before. Each child had their own table seating marked by their grade level. 

They were really enjoying making their placemats as I made their pancakes...

Second, we sat down & enjoyed the pancakes as a family but I forget to take the picture...

Third, we jumped in the car & went to our local elementary school, middle school & highschool & we prayed for the students, teachers, staff & for their new school year. The kids enjoyed that very much. 

Fourth, we then came back home where I cleaned up our breakfast mess while daddy & the kids had a water gun fight outside. They were sorta socked after. Daddy got some pictures of his soaked children. They had kinda dried out by then though. It was a hot & humid.

Fifth we had a BBQ. I don't know why by my kids are slightly crazed anbout having BBQs, so they loved this too. Esp because daddy makes the best food ever & our pastor dropped by to eat with us which thrilled them. 

Sixth the kids had the neighbor kids over until it got dark out, playing in the yard. 

Seventh they made themselves individual mini pizzas, we then ate them.

We finally ended the night with a bonfire, family devotions, s'mores, & daddy prayed blessings over each child. It was a great day. 

Here's we go guys, have a blessed school year. By the way don't forget that Homeschool Day is Friday, September 12th this year. Plan sso thing fun...enjoy the day. Enjoy the school year. 

What do you do with your Toddlers during school?

Such a common question & a huge worry of mine when I had a 2yr old and then a new born. Since then I've had a child every two years or so...Now we're on our sixth child due in November. 

I have an 8yr old & a 6yr old who are officially doing curriculum work for 2nd & 1st grade that we started early in June unofficially doing a little here and there but not every single day. So far we've gotten 36days of schooling in. Monday we start the "official" School year simply because it's labour day & daddy will be home & able to join in on the fun activities we've got planned. We're not doing much more than having fun but it's our official day back to school. Which lead me to think of ways to keep my 4 & 2 year olds learning and busy. Preferably with not much help from me so I can get things done with my two oldest. 

Here's what I've been doing: 

Jojo's totboxes:

I'll give a peek into each box but before I go on I want to give a huge thank you to the mama that put this PDF together. Here's the link...you'll love it. Also I did laminate most of these. 

http://www.123homeschool4me.com/2013/06/superhero-worksheets-for-kids.html

Boxes:

1) Trace the letter H (for Hero) these are crayola dry erase crayons & a felt rag the crayons come with.

2) Count the Spiders

CloseUp: 

3) Two days ago I only had four of these Sterilite 6.2Qt boxes. I found two more at walmart & have changed up the numbers on the original photos some of the boxes may have different numbers now because of it. This one is one of the few that I didn't laminate. I did put it in this sheet protector sleeve I found at the DollarTree. Also used with the dry erase crayola crayons. 

4) Now known as box number 4. Shadow Match. 

5) Superhero Puzzles: Now known as box number 5

6) Now known as box number 6. The child counts the superheroes & pins the correct numbered clothespin. This also helps with dexterity. I dyed the clothes pins with food coloring and rubbing alcohol. 

7) Match the picture to the Word name.

Closeup: How adorable? It even has one for Jesus and one for Daddy. 

8) Pattern Work, this is the preK version in the PDF are some harder patterns for older children.

9) Build a Word with Gatorade caps

CloseUp:

That's all for Jojo... I'll change these up as I see fit, if they're easy I may let him do them again one more day and change them up to something else on the second night before he gets up the third day. 

Luna's boxes, she's two & very independent. To a fault at times...lol 

Boxes:

1) Find and Build the puzzle. These are very simple puzzles. The pictures are 1) of a girl 2) of glue 3) of an apple. She will dig for the pieces through the dry beans and then build her puzzles once she finds the corresponding piece. Only two pieces per puzzle.

2) Color Match with pompoms and chopstick. I painted the muffinpan that I bought from the DollarTree. The chopsticks helps with dexterity. 

3) Lacing Pasta that I dyed with food coloring & rubbing alcohol.

4) Match the Sound: I made two of each egg some have sand, some rice, some corn kernels, etc... The child shakes them & matches them to the correct sounding egg. Each egg has a pair. 

5) Teaching life skills: Hammering. Everything but the golf tees were bought at the DollarTree. The golf tees were 100 for $5 from Amazon prime. 

6) More Life Skills: Screw board. Essentially the child screws in the screws. I bought everything but the wood from the DollarTree. The wood was a remnant from someone else's project. I love the mini screw driver, great for little hands. I did sand the wood so kids wouldn't get splinters in their hands and fingers. 

CloseUp:

7) PopsicleStick Match Up, it can be played two ways. 

CloseUp: The child can match the color of the stick with the color of the icecream or for an older child read the popsicle stick & match the word name with the color of the icecream. 

8) Match the pot with the popsicle stick. I dyed these with food coloring and rubbing alcohol. 

9) Lacing shapes: I only put in three. A circle, a butterfly & a heart. 

She'll likely play with these the whole week. 

The idea is that they play semi quietly & with minimal help from me while I school the older two kids. I hope these ideas help. If anyone has their own suggestions & ideas about what to do with toddlers while homeschooling older siblings please feel free to share. 

Start of 2014-2015 School Year/ A wrap up of the first two months.

We're already five weeks into the school year & I haven't taken their school pictures for the year. Last year I took it in September & since we started this new school year June 8th, 2014 I wanted the picture to be taken September 2014 so that in time we could see their growth from year to year. 

Here's the unofficial school picture though with the official to come in September... 

Please excuse the dirt all over my girls, they're making mud pies & Jojo always refuses to look at the camera. Taken today Thursady, August 7th, 2013. 

Some of the things we've done so far...

First week of school. We did a science experiment, where we discuss how a high amount of salt can make things float. We discusses how names are important & each person got a cupcake with their names. Lily made a scroll by copying Genesis 1:1 onto a piece of paper then rolling it in between two small wooden dowels. 

Mathias started Math U See because My Father's World Adventures (and all MFW from 2nd on ward) doesn't include a math. Since he's so right brained I figured this would be the best math curriculum for him.

The second week went by with out a hitch.

Mathias really enjoyed the third week of school when we discussed Christopher Columbus. He made The Niña, The Pinta & The Santa Maria. 

Jojo decided he needed to do school work. I tried to do MFW- K with him but his attention down wasn't there so I opted for more tot schooling. 

Lily continued along with her school work & was reading very well. 

Jojo & Luna did some tot schooling while Lily did her 1st grade work. 

During the fourth week Mathias built a wigwam. 

During the fourth week Lily made a clay pot to store her scroll in. 

During the fifth week I schooled everyone at the same time. Including Luna, 

whom I have had to make some tot schooling items for. 

I then took a few weeks off so that I could reorganize because if everything doesn't have its proper place I feel crazy & I'm unable to sit with the kids to do their curriculum work. Having everything sorted makes my days less hectic & the school days easier to accomplish.

I hate that my brain works that way because it feels like I should just push threw it but I really can't function unless things are uncluttered and neat. Sadly sometimes I miss a few weeks worth of school but by God's grace we started school in June so we're in no way behind.

We have two pantries and my husband was sweet enough to empty one out for me so that I could use it for all the extra homeschool items that were cluttering everything up. It took me two days to label everything & put it all away. How ever I now know everything I have, need & where to find it all. 

In between the organizing I spent some of the time making items for tot schooling. Like dying Lima beans for transferring games. 

Cutting up felt to look like cupcakes for a color matching game. 

Using food coloring to dye peg people & wooden pots for another color sorting game

Making sensory balloons. Two of each type of ballon, the child squeezes them & matches them up.

Making 2 of each smelling bottles. The child smells the bottles & matches them with the second bottles that smells like the first. 

Making sound eggs, two of each. The child has to shake them & match them up. 

Find the matching upper case & lower case letters and match them to each other to "dunk the cookie in the milk" game. These are cut outs from the dollar tree & they have all types you can make this game with anything. They have apples & worms, worms & fish, frogs & flies, etc...

And that has pretty much been the first few weeks of Adventures in My Father's World 2nd grade and My Father's World 1st grade.